Under wraps

I often wonder what direction my blog travels? I'd venture to say that 90 percent of the time is goofy, going-ons, pointless adventures of my family, and things along those lines. 5 percent is a rant of some sort. Sometimes parenting, sometimes political, sometimes something just ticking me off. The remaining 5 percent... hmmmm, I dunno. Perhaps I am bad at math. :)

In reality, life behind our front door is different than the pictures I post. STOP THE PRESSES...

No way, really??? 'Cause nobody does or says things to make life seem more colorful or bright, right? Of course not. WHAT-EV-AHHHH!

Yes, I love my neato new camera. Yes, we have been to Yosemite and Alcatraz. Yes, pneumonia kicked my booty. There's another reality that I somewhat fear bringing to light on this blog. OH GOD, I wish I felt more comfortable. Countless other mom's do it, why can't I? Fear. Rejection. Fear again. Fear of judgement of her, fear of judgement for our family.

She's having a tough time. Let's be honest, I'm SCREAMING out via my blog that tough times suck. It's too bad that this is under wraps. Coming out from under the wrap is my goal. I'm not there yet, but I will be one day... for her sake, and I guess mine too.

Fan Photos

"If I can climb in the tree, you can take my picture."

"OK, you win. Go ahead. Just don't fall out again."

"Duhhhh Mommy, I won't. (climbing tree-pause) Do you want me to change? My Transformers shirt is kinda ugly for pictures."

"PLEASE DO. Good idea."

Here's the final result. A climbing kid in a solid royal blue collared shirt in front of the camera, and a giggling Mommy behind the camera.

"Taking pictures is fun. Can you take pictures of me with all of my Patriots stuff on today?"

"Get your shoes on. Let's go outside!"

"HEY JULIANA, get your shoes on! It's picture time!"

"I hate pictures, NO!"

"Ok Kev, let's go outside. It's Patriot fan photo time!"

(end of Super Bowl) "I wish I had a Giants hat."

Breathe

I'm sorta kinda back to normal now. Do you know what it's like to be able to take a deep breath? I never realized how often I did it, until I wasn't able to anymore. Do you know what it's like to laugh and not struggle for air? Well, I can finally do that again too. Life is good. I'm just waiting for it to get back to "normal". Not quite there yet.

Threats

THIS MAN.... THIS ONE BELOW...

THREATENED ME!

He said, "I'm dropping the kids off at school, then going to the office afterward. You will NOT clean, do laundry, do dishes, pick anything up... If you do, I will hurt you!"

Ok, so I guess sickness n' health sunk in his noggin. Teeee heeeee. I love him.

You in?

About 3 weeks ago, I got a text from my dad on his new phone, "How about Alcatraz on January 15? You in?" I didn't even check with Jason, I just said something like, "Duhhh, yeah, we'll be there." See, if you know my dad, you'd know that organizing a get-together is something that happens once every 8 years or so. Yes, I see him, but it is at a party, or something that I have organized. Ok ok, that's a lie, maybe it happens more than once every 8 years. Whatever. Needless to say, it doesn't happen often enough, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Not only did my Dad organize this shin-dig, but my sister n' fam, along with brother n' fam, came too. I really don't know the last time my sis, bro, and me got together with my dad ALONE. Like without step-siblings. They're nice n' all, but it's nice to have a "just us" time once in a lifetime.

After dinner on Jan. 14. Kev, my sis kissing Juliana, and my dad.

In one of the hotel rooms. Kev is wrestling with my sister, my nephew is wrestling with his sister... a BLAST!

Alcatraz on Jan. 15.

My brother carrying his very tired 18 month old son.

I explained this area as, "This is where the prisoners had recess." Haaaaa!

So, that was our fun weekend! LOVED every second of it. Hopefully we'll have a summer outing. Hmmmmmm.........

New BFF

During the last week or so, I've been playing a bunch with my camera and trying out new settings. It's been fun, but not easy. I have a ton to learn.

Night pictures have always been the worst. This was fun to take a pic of the moon last night.

My nephew Cristian. The kiddo wouldn't stay still or pose for his favorite auntie, so it isn't the best pic. He's handsome, so I suppose any pic is precious.

Yes, I was drawing with the moon. LOVE this setting! I tried to make a heart in the sky for my friend Suzie. January 7 would have ben her son Cooper's 4th birthday. I attempted to be cute and draw a heart in Heaven for Cooper.

New heights... haaaaaa! She's standing in a tree, and being oh-so helpful while I played around.

Reflections, water, and nice weather will always create a pretty photo.

Be patient. I will probably keep posting pics of my time with my new BFF, Mr. Canon.

Intentional

Welcome 2012!

My 2012 goal is simply... to be more intentional. Are your eyebrows furled? Lemme explain. I plan on being more intentional for these four people. I plan on intentionally focusing more on time, energy, attention, and love for these people. Those intentional actions may include going to the gym to gain more energy and lose some weight, it may include pushing Facebook away for a little bit, it may include just looking at them in the eyes when they speak to me, it may include a myriad of things. So, my intention is to

give these four people the utmost of ME.

Yup, it includes this girl too.

Witnessing their faces change as the year goes on.

Being more of a Mommy than a mother. I know Mommy days are numbered. I have the rest of my days to be a Mother. I've already been demoted a few times to "Hey MOM, look at this!" I don't like it, I much prefer to be "Mommy" for a bit longer. I'm going to cherish these days and be more intentional with cherishing them.